On this Sunday.

It is Sunday, the twentieth day of November 2011, the last day of the Surrogantessa. I had originally planned to go on until the well anticipated trip to Curacao, but with much thought I have decided today will be that day. With the Holidays in close sight and my life slowly taking shape I think it is only fair to the readers and I that I close up shop.

I would like to thank all that have read, support has been key in this journey, and clearly without it I never would have survived. Its nice to know that although I was struggling I had plenty of people pushing me through. My kiddies and the hub have been HUGE, no one can ever say this was a sacrifice that I alone had made, they gave up and endured alot as well, and how awesome is it that MY  family and I can look back on this year and proudly state, " oh yeah, well look what we did!" The folks have also been huge contributors in the success of this event, deserving acknowledgement as well.

It would be a lie if I said I would like to go back and do it again. It was hard, nothing I can compare too. I was sick, weak, and sometimes crazy.A terrible combination for most. And honestly I'm enjoying being semi selfish at the moment. Avoiding the great volunteer work that goes along with children, Church, and small communities...skipping usual activities to hang with the hub, rocking back and forth on the trusty porch swing, and snuggling with the kiddos an extra few minutes before bedtime.

In taking on this adventure I have learned an extra lot about others as well as my self. I am amazed really, there is so many women out in this world who have been deprived of the experience of pregnancy, and little ole me was able to give the gift of motherhood to someone else. The miracles of the big Guy is undeniable. Human nature has been an eye opener as well, you always have the bad apples but there is some great fruit out there. Its so humbling to hear other people come to you with such gratitude for something that doesn't directly affect them in the slightest, or when pride is set aside and they look in your eyes and say, "I could never have done what you did, " its warming, an sparks inspiration to do that much more.

In closing, there will be no pictures today or inspirations of material things..only because what could it possibly be. What would sum up this past year? Words can only slightly describe the thought and feelings of my emotional tornado that sits in my brain right now. With this circumstance and decision I knew that a sense of humor was key for survival, so as I stated in the very beginning, there is and was no room for seriousness and I hope that came across even keel. I love y'all, I love the support, and I love the fact that its over. There is two little twins, a boy and a girl, nestled with a mommy and daddy happy as larks. There is an oven near to recovery, with a great maintenance man, and a world full of great people that continues to spin day after day and year after year.

With much love and respect I am signing off, with a deep breath and a fresh start to another year!
The Surrogantessa.

the end is so near.

This week will mark three weeks of non- preggers and only three more weeks until the full recovery will be under the belt. I still am so excited to be sleeping sound through the night, snuggy-ing with the kiddies, and laying on my stomache. Its the simple pleasures that will drive you to your maddest. I went and visited the twins over the weekend and they are absolute dolls. To be completely honest it was nerve racking at first, wondering what emotions would surface, but lucky for me it was nothing. Nothing but happiness, they are sweet healthy little beans that mommy is thrilled to have. The hub and I truly have done a great thing. This week will be the last of the surrogantessa, please continue to read as there will only be one more post. Every great adventure most come to an end, lets not drag it out.

Speaking of belts,

I need this, please and thank you!

so it seems.

It has been two weeks, one day that the babes have been breathing on their own, nestled tightly with mommy and daddy. I am still recovering, a process I have decided will not end over nite. It seems like each and every day another bodily suprise occurs and I wonder, "wow have I actually been through this two times before." The hub has been great reminding me endlessly that this too will come to an end and Curacao is only a mere month and some change away. Tomorrow I will be visiting the babies for the first time since I left the hospital. I am struggling with an itchy throut and a little cough but clearly they should be immune to me by now! Wish me luck and Ill give kisses for all. Enjoy the extended weekend.

getting back.

Things with the bod are no where near "normal" but my life is starting to take shape once again. Im hopeful and positive that this recovery will seem like a snap compared to the last nine months. This weekend I have been to a few public events and have enjoyed the smiles and congrats, an although still tired, I rocked makeup and boots and a fur vest, woot woot. Loving fall fashion combos. Black is obviously my main staple, accessorizing giving that exciting edge..ahh it feels good people, it feels really good. The shoes still arent fitting, making me nervous..but patience is something Im still practicing. Enjoy your Sunday, this is what makes me smile right at this very moment...

I am completely smitten with leopard print once again.

If I need to say it again,loving slippers this season.

Fur, need a say more.

letter to the parents.

Dear Mommy and Daddy (you are),

Wow! A week from today we were sitting ( well I was laying) in anticipation for the two snuggles to arrive. Its hard to believe that we accomplished exactly what we set out to do, make you two new parents to two precious pups. I am thrilled for the two of you and truly know I have placed Aniston and Anderson in the best of hands. If at any moment you have been skeptical of my comments or actions please know I mean no harm, I have absolutely nothing but the best in interest for yall and your growing family. I have had so many comments thrown my way that my answers sometimes come back to haunt me. Not that any of this is anybody else's business but its an important step for me, for the general public as well as the two of you know the feelings of this used to be surrogate. I love the once was raspberries to now grown dumplings more than anything, not a day goes by that I dont think of them and even miss a sliver of their little kicks and our midnight munchies. Its a first response for most to feel like I have grown so attached that I am suffering from seperation anxiety, I can assure you that is not what I am suffering. Is it because I dont love them? or I am heartless? Absolutely NOT, hello..are you for real? No, they were made to be the mommy and daddy's to be, although our situation is semi homemade this is exactly how God intended the outcome. Please know I am so in love with your babies, but understand fully they are yours to rock, and change, and bounce..they are mine to kiss, snuggie, and quickly give back when the cries start up :)

Thank you for trusting me with their lives. I am proud of us all for being able to do what we have done, it hasnt been easy and it would be silly for me to dare state that. I love yall and think yall are two incredible people who have three incredible babes (although one is a middle school munch). Is this the end for us? Um, NO..we are family and friends, just now you have twins and I am Aunt Sessie to two more dumplings (with about 30 lbs of extra weight).

Love,
Your once Surrogate, forever family and friend.