just saying.

Yep, I'm still pregnant, I'm am about two weeks past due what would have been my ideal due date. Lets just say  my candle  no longer has a flame, the door has been shut along with the window, and that light at the end of the tunnel...clearly a mirage. This is the LONGEST year of my life and pregnancy is NOT my friend.

Fall is (not so much this year, but next) a favorite season of mine. I love the breeze, the smells, and the new found excitement of the fashions waiting to be worn. In celebration I had planned (in my mind of course) a fall party with friends. Now, it might just have to wait until after Christmas. I'm not a huge party thrower at Christmas, by far my FAVORITE holiday, therefore the expectations I set for my self are absurd. So for the Fall party being thrown in my head, here are a few features:

Smells to me are everything. They get the psyche going setting your mind to where the body and soul should be, candles are a must.

via PotteryBarn.com

via Etsy, JustKate Etc.

To me, funky fabrics is one of falls most grandest highlights. You can go bold with color and print and it not scream cheap, tacky, holiday fabric collection at Joann's.

Simple decor is a must for low stress and good times.

via epicurious

...perfection against the mustard yellow.

Pregnant or not, I am such a foodie. Don't get me wrong, my favorite things right now are baby carrots and chocolate milk...but figs done right, yes please!

via food52

And lastly, Fall Lagers chilling in a iced galvanized bucket with a tent of turquoise.

Please enjoy this Fall feeling, and at some point or another this pregnancy MUST end!

the worse case scenario.

The dreaded words I continue to hear, yes, I am aware that regardless of how the appointment goes tomorrow I will have and inducement set for next week. Here is the problem, I need major sedation to make it another week! Despite the gigantic belly and the cinder block that constantly sits on my back I still seem to be entering a somewhat comatose state. Therefore I give a  loud shout out to my two adorable little pumpkins, they have been so sweet...no real change in attitude, but that's OK, they have sacrificed their mommy for almost a year now and are still going strong. At this point they are my biggest concern, with the belly so big its hard to kiss and hug as tight as I would like, and regardless ACTIONS always speak louder than words. If there is any advice I can throw out tonite is two very popular sayings, but oh so true:

1. Actions speak louder than words.
2. Patience is a virtue.

I love that my kids are the realist of the real, there is nothing poster child about them. Covered with dirt and grime, sweat and everything sticky yet the most precious things a girl could ever want.

not quite there.

Well, Ill will be going on my 36th week and twins are still renting  space in the bod, and lets face it, I am worn slam out. Physically, emotionally and mentally I have hit peak. I love when people say, "Stick a fork in me, I'm done." And ironically enough that's me! I think I have surpassed nervousness and am just willing to the day of a good nites sleep and living for myself (I know, its selfish...this is a transparency blog). I spent the night in the hospital last nite, I know...I was a little shocked too. I am dilated 4 cm but with minor contractions I new it would be just another nite. Looking back I'm wondering if maybe the Doctor wasn't hoping for a restful nite, well that was out the window. Between the three monitors jellied up around the body, the soreness of a cot, and nurses who feel the need to wake you ever hour, yeah NO sleep. So tonite, I am at HOME, my most favorite place in the world. My kiddies are nestled tight, a movie is on the agenda and ice cream is definite!

The sweet hub has set some dollars aside to treat myself with a new bag to rock in the fall and winter months. Of course I just cant decide, and to be perfectly honest...I cant get these pups out of my head.

via topshop

via top shop

I die for little loafers, they are the perfect complement with jeans, bracelets up the arm, and large brimmed felt hat. And lets not stop there, they kill the look paired with little black leggings and a oversize sweater, sleeves slightly rolled and golden eyes. Fall perfection!

learning curve.

With the bestie getting married over the weekend, and might I just add she was the most beautiful bride, but it surfaced alot of emotions. This pregnancy is something that I CHOSE, and I completely understand all that that entails. But I will say it is hard to learn people, and understand and respect the perspectives of others. I have to remind myself quite often that this sacrificial decision was made by me and only me, expecting NOTHING in return. There is nothing easy about human nature, and the "Golden Rule," clearly should be called the "Nice Suggestion." With the weekend over I am on the official countdown, and with swollen feet, racing emotions, and no given comfort, I am more than ready. Lets end this weekend with a deep breath, for the Lord is good and his Mercy endures forever, Thank God!

Miu Miu, Nordstrom 2011

How is that for your golden rule? Ahh, complete perfection!

note to self.

via Etsy Shabby Pea Designs

Reminding myself of all the wonderful things to be thankful for. I have a great life with wonderful kids and a rocking hub. Family is key and all un-comforts will soon come to an end.

Away for the weekend, the bestie is getting MARRIED!
Next week starts the official countdown!

that shining light.

I can barely believe it! My BFF is getting married this weekend and although I am sooo excited and can barely stand it for her, I am 956,745 lbs and swollen beyond belief. What once used to be a size 6 1/2 is now shopping for shoe sales in size 8, I know right, and contractions or these braxton hick things, yeah all the time. Crazy combination for a bridesmaid in a wedding on an Island that has one way on and off, by ferry.Ole Mr Doc says that I have began dilating and by this time next Thursday we should have a scheduled date for inducement ( THANK YOU JESUS!!). There is actually a light at this extremely long and uncomfortable tunnel. As my excitement increases, I believe Mommy to be is allowing the anxiousness of the new mommy syndrome to settle in. I am quick to remind her that she is going to be great, it will all fall into place, and no my phone isn't broke but with the birth of these babes I'm screening calls! (ha ha). Please keep the thoughts and prayers going up, its going to be a stretch until the "big day". Loving the light!

via alovelybeing.com

Um, for sure! I will take the blinding light of a Harry Winston any day.

its so out of body.

I have arrived, this is by far the longest and most bazaar, not to mention the hardest pregnancy to date. Dazed and confused would describe my day to day passing, I stare in space, knowing I'm passing and bumping into some of my truest friends and find myself, well speechless. It can be compared to the after birth of a child, where you are exhausted and overwhelmed with this new life. And if I am yapping its more of a drowning complaint of when this adventure, as I call it, will soon be over. Each morning I awake more tired than the day before, slip on some God awful attire where comfort over rules beauty every time. Makeup is a mere thing of the past, and oh how I long for the day I crave eye shadows, liners and lip gloss. Maxi's are a must, the most appropriate public display of a nightgown, and flip flops are the only shoe that will wrap around these things that are holding my toes. I gaze upon other preggy's and they are absolutely glowing, with there cutesty maternity wear, there black and whites, and I honestly Thank God that these two little dumplings will be going home soon, aha...I swear I am one crazy cat!

via google

I found this to be rather appropriate, seeing as we have merged into the fall, and this is a pretty close sculpture of what I'm looking like right now, cute huh?