On this Sunday.

It is Sunday, the twentieth day of November 2011, the last day of the Surrogantessa. I had originally planned to go on until the well anticipated trip to Curacao, but with much thought I have decided today will be that day. With the Holidays in close sight and my life slowly taking shape I think it is only fair to the readers and I that I close up shop.

I would like to thank all that have read, support has been key in this journey, and clearly without it I never would have survived. Its nice to know that although I was struggling I had plenty of people pushing me through. My kiddies and the hub have been HUGE, no one can ever say this was a sacrifice that I alone had made, they gave up and endured alot as well, and how awesome is it that MY  family and I can look back on this year and proudly state, " oh yeah, well look what we did!" The folks have also been huge contributors in the success of this event, deserving acknowledgement as well.

It would be a lie if I said I would like to go back and do it again. It was hard, nothing I can compare too. I was sick, weak, and sometimes crazy.A terrible combination for most. And honestly I'm enjoying being semi selfish at the moment. Avoiding the great volunteer work that goes along with children, Church, and small communities...skipping usual activities to hang with the hub, rocking back and forth on the trusty porch swing, and snuggling with the kiddos an extra few minutes before bedtime.

In taking on this adventure I have learned an extra lot about others as well as my self. I am amazed really, there is so many women out in this world who have been deprived of the experience of pregnancy, and little ole me was able to give the gift of motherhood to someone else. The miracles of the big Guy is undeniable. Human nature has been an eye opener as well, you always have the bad apples but there is some great fruit out there. Its so humbling to hear other people come to you with such gratitude for something that doesn't directly affect them in the slightest, or when pride is set aside and they look in your eyes and say, "I could never have done what you did, " its warming, an sparks inspiration to do that much more.

In closing, there will be no pictures today or inspirations of material things..only because what could it possibly be. What would sum up this past year? Words can only slightly describe the thought and feelings of my emotional tornado that sits in my brain right now. With this circumstance and decision I knew that a sense of humor was key for survival, so as I stated in the very beginning, there is and was no room for seriousness and I hope that came across even keel. I love y'all, I love the support, and I love the fact that its over. There is two little twins, a boy and a girl, nestled with a mommy and daddy happy as larks. There is an oven near to recovery, with a great maintenance man, and a world full of great people that continues to spin day after day and year after year.

With much love and respect I am signing off, with a deep breath and a fresh start to another year!
The Surrogantessa.

the end is so near.

This week will mark three weeks of non- preggers and only three more weeks until the full recovery will be under the belt. I still am so excited to be sleeping sound through the night, snuggy-ing with the kiddies, and laying on my stomache. Its the simple pleasures that will drive you to your maddest. I went and visited the twins over the weekend and they are absolute dolls. To be completely honest it was nerve racking at first, wondering what emotions would surface, but lucky for me it was nothing. Nothing but happiness, they are sweet healthy little beans that mommy is thrilled to have. The hub and I truly have done a great thing. This week will be the last of the surrogantessa, please continue to read as there will only be one more post. Every great adventure most come to an end, lets not drag it out.

Speaking of belts,

I need this, please and thank you!

so it seems.

It has been two weeks, one day that the babes have been breathing on their own, nestled tightly with mommy and daddy. I am still recovering, a process I have decided will not end over nite. It seems like each and every day another bodily suprise occurs and I wonder, "wow have I actually been through this two times before." The hub has been great reminding me endlessly that this too will come to an end and Curacao is only a mere month and some change away. Tomorrow I will be visiting the babies for the first time since I left the hospital. I am struggling with an itchy throut and a little cough but clearly they should be immune to me by now! Wish me luck and Ill give kisses for all. Enjoy the extended weekend.

getting back.

Things with the bod are no where near "normal" but my life is starting to take shape once again. Im hopeful and positive that this recovery will seem like a snap compared to the last nine months. This weekend I have been to a few public events and have enjoyed the smiles and congrats, an although still tired, I rocked makeup and boots and a fur vest, woot woot. Loving fall fashion combos. Black is obviously my main staple, accessorizing giving that exciting edge..ahh it feels good people, it feels really good. The shoes still arent fitting, making me nervous..but patience is something Im still practicing. Enjoy your Sunday, this is what makes me smile right at this very moment...

I am completely smitten with leopard print once again.

If I need to say it again,loving slippers this season.

Fur, need a say more.

letter to the parents.

Dear Mommy and Daddy (you are),

Wow! A week from today we were sitting ( well I was laying) in anticipation for the two snuggles to arrive. Its hard to believe that we accomplished exactly what we set out to do, make you two new parents to two precious pups. I am thrilled for the two of you and truly know I have placed Aniston and Anderson in the best of hands. If at any moment you have been skeptical of my comments or actions please know I mean no harm, I have absolutely nothing but the best in interest for yall and your growing family. I have had so many comments thrown my way that my answers sometimes come back to haunt me. Not that any of this is anybody else's business but its an important step for me, for the general public as well as the two of you know the feelings of this used to be surrogate. I love the once was raspberries to now grown dumplings more than anything, not a day goes by that I dont think of them and even miss a sliver of their little kicks and our midnight munchies. Its a first response for most to feel like I have grown so attached that I am suffering from seperation anxiety, I can assure you that is not what I am suffering. Is it because I dont love them? or I am heartless? Absolutely NOT, hello..are you for real? No, they were made to be the mommy and daddy's to be, although our situation is semi homemade this is exactly how God intended the outcome. Please know I am so in love with your babies, but understand fully they are yours to rock, and change, and bounce..they are mine to kiss, snuggie, and quickly give back when the cries start up :)

Thank you for trusting me with their lives. I am proud of us all for being able to do what we have done, it hasnt been easy and it would be silly for me to dare state that. I love yall and think yall are two incredible people who have three incredible babes (although one is a middle school munch). Is this the end for us? Um, NO..we are family and friends, just now you have twins and I am Aunt Sessie to two more dumplings (with about 30 lbs of extra weight).

Love,
Your once Surrogate, forever family and friend.

trick or treat?

Well, as most of you know the babes are here! The pregnancy is over, and recovery has began. What a road! Delivery went well giving two healthy babes to Mommy and Daddy to be. Its a treat to have come thus far and to actually be proud of what I have accomplished, the trick...figuring out what to do with the melons that are sitting on my chest! This is not the last blog but the end is near. Thank you to all have followed and please continue to read.

The Day.

Hellooo followers. So we're sitting in the labor and delivery room as I type this. And by "I", I mean Daddy to Be, with Jessica's log in. There is no way to experience what I'm thinking and going through right now. So much love, excitement, fear, and thankfulness. So far Jessica is at 8 cm, and all is well. Anderson and Aniston will be here soon enough!

We sure do love ya'll!

Wait - gotta go....it's time?!

just saying.

Yep, I'm still pregnant, I'm am about two weeks past due what would have been my ideal due date. Lets just say  my candle  no longer has a flame, the door has been shut along with the window, and that light at the end of the tunnel...clearly a mirage. This is the LONGEST year of my life and pregnancy is NOT my friend.

Fall is (not so much this year, but next) a favorite season of mine. I love the breeze, the smells, and the new found excitement of the fashions waiting to be worn. In celebration I had planned (in my mind of course) a fall party with friends. Now, it might just have to wait until after Christmas. I'm not a huge party thrower at Christmas, by far my FAVORITE holiday, therefore the expectations I set for my self are absurd. So for the Fall party being thrown in my head, here are a few features:

Smells to me are everything. They get the psyche going setting your mind to where the body and soul should be, candles are a must.

via PotteryBarn.com

via Etsy, JustKate Etc.

To me, funky fabrics is one of falls most grandest highlights. You can go bold with color and print and it not scream cheap, tacky, holiday fabric collection at Joann's.

Simple decor is a must for low stress and good times.

via epicurious

...perfection against the mustard yellow.

Pregnant or not, I am such a foodie. Don't get me wrong, my favorite things right now are baby carrots and chocolate milk...but figs done right, yes please!

via food52

And lastly, Fall Lagers chilling in a iced galvanized bucket with a tent of turquoise.

Please enjoy this Fall feeling, and at some point or another this pregnancy MUST end!

the worse case scenario.

The dreaded words I continue to hear, yes, I am aware that regardless of how the appointment goes tomorrow I will have and inducement set for next week. Here is the problem, I need major sedation to make it another week! Despite the gigantic belly and the cinder block that constantly sits on my back I still seem to be entering a somewhat comatose state. Therefore I give a  loud shout out to my two adorable little pumpkins, they have been so sweet...no real change in attitude, but that's OK, they have sacrificed their mommy for almost a year now and are still going strong. At this point they are my biggest concern, with the belly so big its hard to kiss and hug as tight as I would like, and regardless ACTIONS always speak louder than words. If there is any advice I can throw out tonite is two very popular sayings, but oh so true:

1. Actions speak louder than words.
2. Patience is a virtue.

I love that my kids are the realist of the real, there is nothing poster child about them. Covered with dirt and grime, sweat and everything sticky yet the most precious things a girl could ever want.

not quite there.

Well, Ill will be going on my 36th week and twins are still renting  space in the bod, and lets face it, I am worn slam out. Physically, emotionally and mentally I have hit peak. I love when people say, "Stick a fork in me, I'm done." And ironically enough that's me! I think I have surpassed nervousness and am just willing to the day of a good nites sleep and living for myself (I know, its selfish...this is a transparency blog). I spent the night in the hospital last nite, I know...I was a little shocked too. I am dilated 4 cm but with minor contractions I new it would be just another nite. Looking back I'm wondering if maybe the Doctor wasn't hoping for a restful nite, well that was out the window. Between the three monitors jellied up around the body, the soreness of a cot, and nurses who feel the need to wake you ever hour, yeah NO sleep. So tonite, I am at HOME, my most favorite place in the world. My kiddies are nestled tight, a movie is on the agenda and ice cream is definite!

The sweet hub has set some dollars aside to treat myself with a new bag to rock in the fall and winter months. Of course I just cant decide, and to be perfectly honest...I cant get these pups out of my head.

via topshop

via top shop

I die for little loafers, they are the perfect complement with jeans, bracelets up the arm, and large brimmed felt hat. And lets not stop there, they kill the look paired with little black leggings and a oversize sweater, sleeves slightly rolled and golden eyes. Fall perfection!

learning curve.

With the bestie getting married over the weekend, and might I just add she was the most beautiful bride, but it surfaced alot of emotions. This pregnancy is something that I CHOSE, and I completely understand all that that entails. But I will say it is hard to learn people, and understand and respect the perspectives of others. I have to remind myself quite often that this sacrificial decision was made by me and only me, expecting NOTHING in return. There is nothing easy about human nature, and the "Golden Rule," clearly should be called the "Nice Suggestion." With the weekend over I am on the official countdown, and with swollen feet, racing emotions, and no given comfort, I am more than ready. Lets end this weekend with a deep breath, for the Lord is good and his Mercy endures forever, Thank God!

Miu Miu, Nordstrom 2011

How is that for your golden rule? Ahh, complete perfection!

note to self.

via Etsy Shabby Pea Designs

Reminding myself of all the wonderful things to be thankful for. I have a great life with wonderful kids and a rocking hub. Family is key and all un-comforts will soon come to an end.

Away for the weekend, the bestie is getting MARRIED!
Next week starts the official countdown!

that shining light.

I can barely believe it! My BFF is getting married this weekend and although I am sooo excited and can barely stand it for her, I am 956,745 lbs and swollen beyond belief. What once used to be a size 6 1/2 is now shopping for shoe sales in size 8, I know right, and contractions or these braxton hick things, yeah all the time. Crazy combination for a bridesmaid in a wedding on an Island that has one way on and off, by ferry.Ole Mr Doc says that I have began dilating and by this time next Thursday we should have a scheduled date for inducement ( THANK YOU JESUS!!). There is actually a light at this extremely long and uncomfortable tunnel. As my excitement increases, I believe Mommy to be is allowing the anxiousness of the new mommy syndrome to settle in. I am quick to remind her that she is going to be great, it will all fall into place, and no my phone isn't broke but with the birth of these babes I'm screening calls! (ha ha). Please keep the thoughts and prayers going up, its going to be a stretch until the "big day". Loving the light!

via alovelybeing.com

Um, for sure! I will take the blinding light of a Harry Winston any day.

its so out of body.

I have arrived, this is by far the longest and most bazaar, not to mention the hardest pregnancy to date. Dazed and confused would describe my day to day passing, I stare in space, knowing I'm passing and bumping into some of my truest friends and find myself, well speechless. It can be compared to the after birth of a child, where you are exhausted and overwhelmed with this new life. And if I am yapping its more of a drowning complaint of when this adventure, as I call it, will soon be over. Each morning I awake more tired than the day before, slip on some God awful attire where comfort over rules beauty every time. Makeup is a mere thing of the past, and oh how I long for the day I crave eye shadows, liners and lip gloss. Maxi's are a must, the most appropriate public display of a nightgown, and flip flops are the only shoe that will wrap around these things that are holding my toes. I gaze upon other preggy's and they are absolutely glowing, with there cutesty maternity wear, there black and whites, and I honestly Thank God that these two little dumplings will be going home soon, aha...I swear I am one crazy cat!

via google

I found this to be rather appropriate, seeing as we have merged into the fall, and this is a pretty close sculpture of what I'm looking like right now, cute huh?

insainia insomnia.

Sleep is a pastime, a sweet memory, a far cry from the life as I know it. The vicious cycle of dragging all day anticipating evening followed by nite, only to crawl into bed for the nightmare to begin. I swear I counted, in a mere hour, five trips to the bathroom. INSANITY. If that isn't enough ants are let loose under the skin causing the twist, turn, earthquake roll. The poor hub, I stare at him in envy with each gentle sleeping breath. Then the guilt sets in, the thought that my poor hub has to endure this annoyance nite after nite. I am up and down, huffing puffing, sad and just plain miserable. If my nite life is any indication on what is in store for mommy and daddy to be, oh how I pity there souls...strong pats on the back and a smile to get them through the next four to five months of there lives (hopefully, my first didn't start sleeping through the nite until she was FIVE, I got much luckier on my second go around).

At this point cute isn't an option, fancy eye shadows with funky glitter is replaced by Bobbi Brown's eye concealer.

via Nordstrom

the not so nesting.

Every preggy goes through the "nesting" stage, and actually it is one aspect of pregnancy that I prefer. Its great, you have energy and your mind is on complete focus mode. However, this pregnancy is becoming a somewhat different episode. My mind for sure is turned on high test, the body however..yeah not so much. My honey-do list could be a mile long, the only problem is drumming up enough energy to explain to the hub what I have in mind. It is becoming quite a frustrating day to day stump. Its a matter of, "hmm, should I organize, scrub, paint... or think up the list as I laze on the couch hoping these things I call ankles and feet go down to somewhat human size"?

My ideas so far...
1. Paint interior door white, trimmed in black (uh, so chic)
2. Finish table cloth (perfection for fall, the only problem..beginning sewer is an understatement)
3. Complete makeover for the guest bathroom ( its embarrassing)
4. Drum up ideas for the office/ storage room/ Pilate's (you know,for when I'm not carrying an extra 1000 lbs)

As I was looking for inspirations for the bathroom redo I stumbled upon this...
and I ask you, "What is this, and Why"?

via coated.com

So, this is exactly NOT what I want. Look, and think the complete opposite.
If nesting, whats your damage?

the ineviatable change.

I love my girlfriends reference to the time frame of her pregnancy, she is 100 months pregnant (third trimester) and that is exactly how I feel. Nine months is long for anybody, but if you remember, this whole adventure started in Novemeber of last year! I knew almost immediately that I was pregnant, and that it was twins, so yes the time is certainly dragging. I get a little hard on myself for expressing my true feelings because they arent always the prettiest and by no means "chic", but I have to quickly remind myself that this is me, and no one said it would be easy. With time passing the babes are growing at an extremely quick rate, the ankles and feet are swollen to unrecognizable measures, and my anxiety occassionally hits the roof, something to do with the 2 1/2 hour ferry ride it takes me just to leave the Island!

With the last Doctors appointment, the babies are doing good, strong heartbeats, rapidly growing, etc. Me on the other hand I am having a hard time keeping my patience and mood swings under wrap. And for the record, YES I am still pregnant, yes I know my stomach is extremely large, and yes I am over it.

The swollen feet have caused me to reach a milestone that may seem silly to most, but remember this is my life. I have to remove my toe ring. I know, some of you are thinking, "toe ring ?, as in tacky, redneck, Myrtle Beach?" But no, this toe ring symbolizes so much more for me. I have had it on since I was in the eighth grade and it, along with a Roxy watch, was the purchase made from my very first paycheck. I am the first to say that I am spoiled right and my parents have made my life extremely comfortable, but I was proud of the fact that I had gotten a job and knew right then and there independence called my name. The milestone has been hit and I am now venturing another, each day tends to be a slightly different with thoughts and feelings. I know deep down I have made huge strides to give lives to a deserving mommy and daddy to be, and there is a light at the end of this tunnel, hopefully with these awaiting.

Frye, Nordstrom

hold on, oh..here's a pen.

OK, you've got your pen and paper and your ready. Go ahead and right down all the advice, tidbits, quotes, what have you ,that you feel is imperative for me to hear in the next couple of weeks.

Oh yeah, sassy for sure. I mean no harm but I feel like its easy to throw advice and "suggestions" around when its not you. Yes maybe you have been pregnant before, maybe even a surrogate, and I'm just whining, but would it kill you to just let me whine?

I am super excited for the arrival of these babes, I couldn't be more happy for mommy and daddy to be, and I am proud of myself and my family for enduring this adventure, but its hard. I'm not scared to admit that life is challenging. Just thought you should know that, and please keep reading..tomorrow is a new day full of smiles and sunshine.

xoxo
Jessica.

the prick- it pickett.

Clever, I know. ha ha. Well this beast is a pricking machine these days. Due to my high sugar I have been asked to keep a blood log, testing 4 times a day, that's right..FOUR TIMES A DAY. My fingers are sore, and let me just say, poor circulation and swollen limbs does no justice for those of us who have to prick. My log has plenty of gaps, after the fourth prick my patience runs like my blood, thin and sparse! So far so good though, so no real complaints...other than I am missing my occasional Coca-cola, what do they put in that to make it soo desirable? And the little strips for the blood meter, shew $$$$. The Diabetic Counselor probably wouldn't be as proud of me as I am but hey, I am know a Pickett but once a Gray and we pride ourselves on fat little babes. Nothing like a baby that feels like freshly kneaded piebread, and sag worthy cheeks, mm. Love it. Snuggle and nuzzle the neck of a babe, nothing like it in the world.

Even the celebs cant resist...clearly perfection.

via babble

via gravey and biscuits

via hollywood grind

Oh, and FYI. Sara Jessica Parker and her hub, Matty..yeah they used a surrogate, and got twins as well. Comparative, I think so.

yes, my face is here..clearly my brain is on vacation!

Whew, I have read in numerous places that absent mindedness comes with pregnancy...well I think with these babes I'm getting twice the dose of brain vacay. It is comical how crazy I am right now, ask me questions, or tell me something.. but if you want it to be remembered, yeah I would write it down and maybe just hand it to me. I pity the hub and Avon Seafood because this gal is swinging slam off her rocker.

Moving on,yesterday I was taught how to live as a gestational diabetic, uhh. Plastic fake food filled the desk and every open space available in the office, I was warped, wondering if maybe I was suppose to bring Esta Marie. When it was all said and done, I had a chart of "appropriate" foods and a little black bag full of prickers, nice.

The ultrasound determined that the babes are growing rapidly weighing, both, around 3 lbs and healthy. At this rate I certainly feel they will be making an early arrival, no complaints here! My weight is rapidly increasing but what should a girl do?

Tying up loose ends, the hub and I have around 16 weeks until are well anticipated trip, the girls have both started school (yip yip) and teal is in for the fall season!!!I thought if it would have been purple or "eggplant" one more fall season I would scream. But oh no, I LOVE TEAL!

VIA IAMCHIQ.FOOYA

its been so long.

I know, I know! It has been way too long. I apologize. Life after a hurricane is overwhelming and so is carrying twins. I hate to be burdened with a long face but some days are becoming very tough. I need this rug as I walk into my living room...

Anthropologie you always steal my heart!

mm hmm.

( Imagine the following spoke in one breath)

OK, well the most recent doctor's apt determined that each little kiddie weighs a little over 2 lbs and turns out I have gestational diabetes. BUMMER.

Currently I am staying with the Auntie and SEVEN other family members (yep) and the hubs and Hank are at home riding out the storm.

The ipod has many new downloads, very exciting.

I HATE everything sugar free.
( and did I mention that diabetes could actually be a result in a increase in hormones and might not be affected one way or the other by what I eat. Yet I still must diet)

January please don't tarry I am in need of a MAJOR VACAY with the hubby and pals!

oh irene.

Are you serious? A Hurricane! Hmmm, 100 mph winds, rain, no power, lightening, thunder...shew. For those of you who don't know, I am a major SCAREDY CAT. I swear with every wind gust and roll of thunder the world is coming to an end, Jesus is coming, and my house stands no chance.

I usually leave the island asap, but to be quite honest, I am having a hard time drumming up the energy to plan and make any type of trip. An ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday, so the weights of the two dumplings should be at reach..and my blood results will be in to determine what the plan for the ol body will be. Big week people, Big week! Oh, and school, yeah Raelyn was supposed to start on Thursday.

Even in times of disaster and complete mayhem, its always smart to have the most chicest pair of rain boots,

via blogs.cutekid

Hey Look! It me and the hub...oh wait. Haha clearly that's not us, but they are rocking the timeless Burberry Rain boots that have been a desire of mine, well since forever.

Stay dry.

falling.

I'm usually not one to rush seasons but I must say I certainly am looking forward to the fall. I'm am ready to retire the bikini (until Jan of course), slip on some jeans a lite scarf and gold eyeshadow for a fresh breeze out the door. The hot weather is literally causing the body to move at a glacieral pace. And call me crazy but at this house, um yeah we count down for the start of the new school year (Ive never claimed to be mother of the year).

xoxo
Giving way to the last days of summer!

a sweet treat.

Well its Monday, and if that isn't enough..guess what I am prego with twins and still have 9 WEEKS to go. Sure, some would say, "oh but you are so close," mm hmm but I'm not sleeping and my body I don't believe has ever felt soo crazy. I am tracking right along with high sugar levels and extremely low iron..whoop whoop.

Ha aha, sorry for the negativity it just feels good to get it out there. On the flip side there are many positive notes going on at the moment. For starters, I have been given the best Mother and Sister a girl could possibly want! Yep they got me an IPOD TOUCH!!!! and to make it that much better they had it engraved just for me, just to let me know how much they love and appreciate me. I know, its the sweetest. Time to fill that puppy up with tunes, a calorie counter (for when this step is complete), and tap colors (clearly the best game since The Oregon Trail.)

Speaking of Tap colors, I so need these...

via Nordstrom

Cant stand it! J Brand you have stole my heart once again. Although due to my size I'm wondering if Forever shouldn't be the way that I go. Anyway, enjoy the day and seize the moment, you never know when you might be carrying twins!

at this moment.

Better Luck Tomorrow.

stand still, and breathe.

via flickr

I'm not for sure where to even take this post, clearly my mind is moving in a million directions. At one point I have absolutely nothing to say to anybody and within the next breathe I literally cant shut my mouth (whether it be talking or chomping ice). My emotions are running rapid and I'm not for sure, is this my type of journal entry or just a cutesy little "thing" I do to keep everyone up to date?

One frustration I will share is waiting, at the doctors office! Oh yeah, that grabs a similarity within us all. Yesterday at my OB appointment, 1 HOUR 40 MIN...spoke with the doc for maybe 15 minutes. However is that necessary? And who is to blame? The Doctor, the receptionist, or the creep of an intern that kept herself extremely too close for comfort? Regardless, blood pressure rapidly rising.

If one long wait wasn't enough, Esta Marie had an infection in her eye today and needed to be seen. The kiddies and I, in a 5x5 room waiting patiently for 45 minutes for a 5 minute diagnoses. Once again I ask why? (although the use of plastic gloves and alcohol wipes made me feel like I was paying them back in a sense, and it kept the girls occupied)

Turns out both babies are doing good, I'm continuing to grow on schedule and the eye infection is nothing major. The trick being...getting her to take her medicine. "Please try this really cool pink drink," isn't working.
xoxo.

its the bees knees.

Doesnt Etsy complety blow your mind? I can hardly stand it, where do all these creative people come from? And how ever did I get skipped in my gene pool? Not a day goes by that a fellow blogger or friend doesnt bring up Etsy and some fly idea that is a must on everyone's list. Im sure this is no suprise to most of you, but WOW, the stuff I need! I dare to post pic's for this post, I dont want to give anyone injust to the creative work in which they display.

Get out and make something.

Another Sunday.

I LOVE Sunday's!! Its simple, the day of rest. You have church, giving you your spiritual dose to start the week, we have Family dinner..which although can be hectic, is pure joy, and then couch time with the hub while the kiddies quietly play or nap (you know, on a perfect day). In the past, summer Sunday's have often times been family beach days or clamming or something somewhat adventurous, but with the rapidly growing belly and the unbearable heat I feel no guilt in the least to enjoy the sunshine through open blinds. Today I envision open blinds full of sun, me on the couch reading "The Help," and taking for granted the great life in which I have been given. Its part of my growing patience process. Sit with me, patience is a VIRTUE.

via asctents.

Are you familiar with Swiss Tents? Aren't they the cutest? Do you think they would withstand 90mph wind speed? Just wondering.

now, hold your breath.

There you have it people! This post will probably be the ONLY post in which you will view the belly. As I type my anxiety is growing, but when I made the commitment to blog, I wanted it to be completely raw. So here you have it.

Your probably looking at the picture and thinking, "hmm, that's not too bad," well its the angle. Observe.

Yep, check out those legs, butt, and swollen knee caps. So cute. At least the water in the back ground was absolute divinity.

I'm trying to keep it light, but the bikini will probably be retired from the pool. These pictures were taking on Saturday,  Friday before at the pool:
Little girl (maybe four) : "Ewh, why is your tummy so fat?"
Me: "Haha, two babies are living in there."
Little girls mother: "OMG, I am so sorry".
Me: Don't worry, I look in the mirror and wonder the same thing." haha

Although the tummy is growing by the second there is nothing like my little kiddies and me at the beach.

Oh sweet summer time!!

and breath.

via Daniel Pullen (one of my most favortie photographers)

I'm not going to lie, Patience is a virtue that I struggle to maintain. Things never seem to happen quite as fast as I would like them too, in less its a major mistake of course. This pregnancy is so close to the end yet I cant help but to feel how far away it seems. My body is certainly slowing down by the minute and the fears are settling. Its kind of bizarre, my fears are so different than what people seem to be expecting. Am I scared I'm going to want to keep the babes? Um, absolutely NOT. My two are quite enough and to be quite logical about it, they aren't mine to keep. Am I scared of labor? Not really, I have a great OBGYN who I have known for many years and trust him, well with my life. Its the creeping days up until this "big day." Its worrying about my sanity and holding on for just a little bit longer, that is what is starting to stir in this brain.

I try to stay in a semi positive place, but like most of us, that's not always the easiest. The complaints I spill out to the hub I'm sure is getting slightly unbearable, but I know all of this is mainly hormonal and super expected during pregnancy making it easier to cope. I know Ill will be delivered before we all know it with a huge gold star on my chart. It never hurt anyone to push there self to their outermost limit, and lets face it...I am pushed.

third trying-mester.

I have ARRIVED! I am knocking on the door and walking in the beginnings of the third and final trimester. Ahh, to think there is a light shining at the end of this tunnel. I have a full 24 weeks under the belly and am on the 12 week countdown. Most importantly the babes are growing, both heart beats are strong, and mommy and daddy to be aren't having second thoughts in the least. On my line of positive side notes, I have only gained twenty lbs, giving me plenty of room to expand ( I set a goal of not to go over 50, so yeah I'm golden at the moment). So I have been told that although I am only ending my sixth month  due to the twin factor, my body feels about eight months...explaining alot. So I wonder, what will I feel like at eight months?

via coolspic

                                         "watch down below, momma needs a massive nap!"

chomp crunch smack.

I have always had a "thing" we will call it for smacking, you know the noise one makes when chewing food or what have you. It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine and drives me absolutely nuts. I blame my mother who for so many years would constantly remind me how impolite it was to smack my food..."chew with your mouth closed", she would say. Well, I have found a new love and admiration for ice, yes frozen water. And what a plus, its free and zero calories. Score! The only problem is I am driving myself crazy with the noise of it all, and probably all who surround me. Which lately seems to be quite the crowd.Not to mention I feel like my ice machine cant quite work fast enough and my heart grieves when I look at my ice water and see the ice is no more. Oh surrogacy, smack on!

via thenakedscientist.

on the exhale.

To be quite honest I am very relieved that a nursery is not on the brain right now, they are not a favorite room of mine. Not to mention it is reassurance that babe/s will not be coming home with me anytime soon (knocking on wood). For those of you who enjoy decor you know that a nursery is a difficult room, that is if your not that person who blindly walks in a store and grabs the 5 piece set and calls it a day (gross!). Don't get me wrong there is some great crib sets out there, but let me just warn you, you will drop $400 bones, and remember small babies, and toddlers, have weird liquids flowing from both ends. Make sure its machine washable.

prlog.org

Now, this room, however...majestic, purple, and super nursery is OK. But, white chair, rug, crib...can we say hello to stains and extra washing for the tired mommy. No thank you. Not to mention the more I look at these wall stickers the more I feel like I have been trapped in some creepy princess storybook.

via Zimbinio

Once again, way too theme-y. You must remember when having a baby comes unexpected gifts, and people love to give nick-knacks (gross!) Its only polite to display..only for a short while. And this designer hasn't read up on babes and the fact that they respond to black and white first and foremost, can we say over stimulated? Mommies don't you want to sleep? Choose a black and white rug, or throw blanket.

Lay baby Lay, a blog in which I adore, has the best nursery designs ever! I absolute LOVE her Vivi's room, and just about all of her style boards for her other nursery designs. If you are a mommy to be I strongly suggest you check her ideas. She is creative, stylish, and plans the room around the baby with growing room and cohesive intentions for the rest of the house. Enjoy.

VENTura Ave.

Ah, how I wish it was appropriate for me to totally let my hair down and write a major vent session. However, I will not, it isn't lady like and I would really like to refrain myself from any extra questions at the moment. I will ask why? This is a small island on which I reside and news travels fast, so why is it that people still are asking questions that I know they know the answer too? For example, with a squinty face and a stare at the belly..."so its two right"? Uh huh and by the look on your face you already knew that, did you just need reassurance? Or are you mindfully justifying that I have a dripping rocky road ice cream in my hand? Shew sister is sassy. I promise I mean no harm, some days its easy just to want a break, I am human after all.

Tomorrow is a new day full of smiles.
Transparency at its finest.

BOOKED.

...and the destination is...

Curacao !!

Ah, I can barely hold in the excitement. The beginning of January the hub and I will be traveling deep in the Caribbean for a much needed Vay- Cay. No kiddies, great company, and plenty of pleasures. The babes will be safe and sound tucked tight into there beddies with mommy and daddy, and my kiddies will be spoiled ripe by the Meme and Grandaddy.


And let me just say, I soo need a custom kini by none other than Jennifer Harmon, Creator of Jobell.

Why sure this is a little small, but they are custom and I will be in never never land. Not the hottest momma on the beach, but deserving.

Doing the love thing.

I had a very interesting day, its funny how a day can turn bum to fun! (slightly corny I know but truth) Anyway, in Sunday school this morning the teacher rhetorically asked of our favorite biblical scripture. To be completely transparent one didn't immediately pop in my head, so I began thinking, "what is mine"? I sarcastically thought, huh.. "Jesus wept". A clear indication that if the Almighty cried its quite OK for me to shed a tear. But, before you go feeling sorry for me I should quickly let you know that before I lay my head to rest tonite it will be spoken aloud, this very scripture, "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal". (1 Corinthians 13:1) I mean to tell you, how inspirational. I dont want to be a clanging cymbal, that is a great goal that helps every pal in the picture. I'm smiling and I hope you are! Enjoy this very day. And don't forget, let your hair down and give a little giggle to the Master that stands at the top.

Look at what the Master is giving to two very lucky, but very deserving parents to be.

Little Boy.

Little Girl.

One more little last note. Isn't it hilarious that we look at these pictures and are so proud, happy, and what have you and they truly look like little blobs in a lava lamp gone terrible wrong? ha ha Life.